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Friday, May 4, 2012

creating space....


Hello lovelies!

Hope life is treating you well this weekend.

I have had an up and down week with a visit from my old pal Anxiety.
Finding the courage to admit that I dont have it all together all of the time was hard but early in the week I admitted to my gorgeous FB community that I was feeling the closest to a full blown panic attack as I had in ten years!

and guess what?

Nobody judged me

Nobody dropped out of my workshops because I admitted I was feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable

Nobody called me a looney tune

Nobody told me to just snap out of it

INSTEAD......I got this

Been there, done that... many times! It simply means it's time for YOU! Figure out whatever thorn you have in your side, face it straight on without the hassles from daily life (because you deserve to put yourself first!) and soon you will be where you need to be! You give so much Tracy, try to give to yourself for a little while!

and this

Thinking of you today and sending love. I can relate to so much of what you've posted -- especially the fear of something bad coming along to mess up all the good. Holding you in the light of healing and peace. ♥ ♥ ♥ Let's talk when you are able.


and this

I hope you;re doing better. I also have not had a full blown panic attack in several years but it's always in the back of my mind. Try to cut out your caffeine completely for a couple or at least just have green tea. If you have a favorite guided meditation and when I burn rose oil it immediately relaxes me. Bug hugs comin your way! (love the bug hugs!)

and this

Take care and look after yourself Tracy. Everything can wait, have a rest. You know what to do, be calm, don't judge yourself, be patient.... everything will wait, and we will still be here waiting for you to come back in your good time.

143 beautiful messages of love, empathy and support that meant the world to me and in a strange way helped to ease my fear and bring me back into a place of calm. Maybe its the fact that I don't feel so alone or that I feel validated or.....maybe I don't even need to analyse it. All I know is that I am feeling so much better and in a little while I am heading out to my studio cos I have a date with some paint!


walking this way..



and right in here



mmmmmmmmm


even have some sweet company :))


much love and if you are not already part of our Magically Mixed Art Community on FB. Come on by and join in the fun!

Tracy xox






10 comments:

Sherri B. said...

Your post resonates...I completely relate and have battled with anxiety my whole life...it seems there are so many people who struggle with this, and I'm very glad you're feeling better and not being hard on yourself while going through a rough spot. Thank you for mentioning the Magically Mixed Art Community - I will check that out. Have a lovely weekend!

Tee Thompson said...

as well we should respond to you and to everyone this way. Caring for the spirit is the biggest part of life. Yours soars most of the time. Let gentle hands catch you when your wings are faulty!

Hugs you babe. Hope you are feeling better today.

Tracy Verdugo said...

Thanks so much Sherri and Tee!I'm grateful for our shared wobblies and your gentle hands ♥

The Introverted Art said...

Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your feelings so honestly. I have dealt with major anxiety problems in these past 2 years (so bad they were leading to panic attacks) and I kept it with me for fear or shame. I have been doing great this past month, but to see you so beautiful, with such creating colorful art share your feelings so openly made me feel as though I am not alone. Most importantly, I have no reason to be ashamed. Thank you.

Bev said...

Tracy so glad to see u are off to your studio paint can heal all things lol i have u on my google reader , your studio is amazing and love your little friend there waiting for u take care

hugz bev

Jo Murray said...

Sometimes it's difficult to put yourself first but it is often absolutely essential. Some quiet time in your studio sounds like just the remedy.

Grace said...

Be well Tracy. Focus on the things that make you love your everyday. Sometimes it's the littlest things that make all the difference xx

Selah Gay said...

♥ Nameste Tracy ♥ We don't turn our hearts away from yours because how can we turn away from one with our own heart! We are all one...connected heart to heart...well or not so well... happy or not so happy... our hearts stay constant... always... from my ♥ to yours... peace and lots of hugs, selah ♥

Jennifer Richardson said...

what a beautiful heart, yours.
i so get that
and swoon with you
over all those kisses
heaven blew you
when you went so real
with your tribe
and let them love on you.
well done, you:)
-Jennifer

arttage said...

The human mind, the human body... so complicated and intricate and yet it's a miracle everyday we live and breath and walk around and function. I had severe depression from age 11 to 41, it only lifted in the past 9 years. Such a miracle. I never want it back, I used to be so sad I thought the world would be better off without me even my children. I was in a dark tunnel and thought I would never find my way out. I was a Christian too and heard many people even tell me my depression was a sin. Well that was not true, depression or anxiety is something we don't always have a lot of power over. Even through it all we must pray and ask God for help, it can bring us still closer to God, but it sure isn't easy. It's not sin either and as much as I hate to admit it it is a gift. Mental illness and complications of the mind teach us compassion, love and understanding of others when they suffer. If we never sufferred it would be so easy to judge those who do. God has great things planned for you Tracy, through your art and your compassion you will reach many! This is a gift. Hugs, and love, Sanna